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The Perils of Self Sabotage
by Bonnie Moss (c) 2012 January
Beware of the perils of self sabotage. Sometimes, we are our worst enemy. We build walls and
barriers and obscure a vast,scenic landscape in front of us.We put up roadblocks and work
against our best interests. This is self-sabotage. It is the sum total of the mental and emotional
drama we create and sadly, live by. Sad because these are impediments to a peaceful, happy,
successful and fulfilling life. It leaves a feeling of failure, misery and a meaningless life.
In some cases, life comes with the perils of drug and substance abuse, crime and violence
or suicide.
At one point in life, everyone hits a low point – the bottom. This is not the end of the world.
This is a vulnerable time where one starts on the road to self-sabotage. But- there are others
who have it all yet cannot handle their success and end up in the deep valley of self sabotage
despite fame and fortune .
It is believed that self sabotage is more common than we think. Just when things are starting
to look brighter, some fall into the cracks of self sabotage and what might have been a success
becomes a failure. Stress is part of life- how one handles or reacts to stress varies. There are
those who seem to live on the drama of life, others open themselves to unnecessary mental
and emotional stress, and there are those who feel the only way to get attention is through
self-sabotage.
Self sabotage can be conscious or unconscious.
Negative self talk -the enemy is in your head blocking positive thoughts to come through
your clouded mind and you wallow in misery over self-fulfilling prophecy you create. Negative
feelings can lead to health problems. This can also lead to low self-esteem, self-worth and
self-confidence.
Mental and emotional stress are you taking on too much that you are overwhelmed?
Why are you unhappy with your job?
Tendency to create unnecessary conflict in relationships clouded judgment, rash jusdgment,
aggressive, too quick to react without thinking, controlling and tendency to choke people you
care about. A victim complex that renders one blameless- it is always the other person's fault.
Guilt complex is self-defeating.
Procrastination putting things off can leave feeling of guilt, that can be buried in the
sub-conscious.
Pessimism
There are ways and means to deal with issues of self sabotage.
Learn to think positive, watch carefully times that you indulge in negative self talk. Take
a walk, dance to a music of your choice, exercise ort meditate. Call a friend, go to the library.
Learn to say NO you do not have to agree or give in everytime puts a demand on your
time. If your schedule is full, step back and give yourself some space. Take a time out for yourself.
Learn better conflict resolution skills -know that conflict is part of life and should not get
you down. At times, it is through conflict that we grow, it is a chance to take a closer look within.
Conflict is a mirror that reflects what we don't like to see in ourselves. Find out ways to handle
yourself when conflict arises. An aggressive and vindictive action can cause more harm. Learn to
get over unpleasant issues. However, to let others walk all over you is not the way, either. In this
world, there are takers and givers. There are those who are skilled in the art of manipulation to get
what they want. How do you plan to handle people like these?
Truly, self sabotage does not have to rule anyone's life. There are ways to counteract this way of life.
Journal keeping
positive affirmations
get over your pessimism
get at the things that need your attention, especially mundane chores
maintain balance in your schedule and activities to keep a balanced life
meditate, exercise and try to keep a healthy diet
try to stay away from people who have a negative attitude
love yourself, be at peace with yourself
Think about it- simple steps can help get you out of self sabotage and misery. Isn't it better to greet
your day with a confident smile, knowing that you are ready to face whatever the day has to offer ?
Send your loved ones off with a warm and re-assuring smile as they go their way to face their day.
Enjoy that good feeling of peace and good sense of accomplishment, no matter how simple,
at the end of the day.
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