Sometimes, I sit down and write whatever comes to  me. At one time,I thought I 
was doing automatic writing. Perhaps I am. I should call this My Soliloquy.

Some refer to this voice in one's head as coming from a Guide, an Angel,or Spirit.
My sister does automatic writing, messages are  conveyed from "beyond" to other 
members of the family. She told me I am ready to do autowriting too. Somehow, 
I am skeptical...it seems that it is my inner thoughts that I reveal to myself. 

It helps me as a form of expression,thoughts just come out and I'd be frantically 
typing whatever comes to my mind.When my world feels ready to fall apart, when 
I feel I let myself down,when I can't seem to forge ahead, or when I am in a 
"questioning" mood, I sit down and I am amazed at what thoughts come through 
this mind of mine.

Excerpts from my Journal pages ,2002

AFFIRMATION

I seek to harmonize my thoughts and actions with my highest truth/ highest self. 
I will wait patiently for the actions  and  thoughts that will serve my best interests. 

By striving for greater balance, endurance and perspective, I generate more 
personal power and strength.

OK MY INNER SELF, HOW DO I GET ENERGIZED 
TO ATTRACT POSITIVE VIBRATIONS 
....this is what came to my mind:

Do what your instinct tells you, there are no rules, there's only man’s imagination. 
If your intent is true and real, with good intentions and good will,how can you go 
wrong in whatever way you wish to get energized?

You will be surprised at what you can do, if you just let your inner self go free.., 
it will  bring you a  lot of good vibrations and energy.

Please do not stop, this blocks the flow of energy, just keep writing .the belief that
there is bad karma from your parents that you have to carry in this life, let it go, 
this kind of thinking will keep this alive, if you ignore it and just let it go, it will 
eventually be of no use, it will lose its power.

Pray ,pray hard, stop thinking of karma, karma, karma, this is just feeding the 
bad energy, negative energy, makes it stay and linger around.Some events are
out of your control and definitely,not in your power… a winfall? Who knows, keep
thinking about it. You never know.

Do not be superstitious, pay attention to your intiution,guard against superstition.
There is a big difference. Intuition will give you good energy,superstition gives you 
fear.This is all for now, good night,tomorrow, you will feel much better.  

THANK YOU GUIDE    
In another session: from the inner voice: 

What is my name? I have many names, you do not want to know, but believe 
that I am a good spirit.  

  A  DILEMMA ( My thoughts)

Sometimes I feel happy, I feel joy inside, even peace. However, it seems like 
I have to face one problem  after another, when will life be ever calm and peaceful?

Wake up one day and just be able to enjoy what is around me, and not have to face 
another worrisome situation. I can not get motivated to do anything creative, except 
gardening, even that, I linger too long, an excuse not to face other duties.Sometimes 
I wonder what kind of life  is worth  living.Yes, I would like to wake up one day soon 
and just be happy to be alive.

I am losing interest in crystals, in tarot,the internet, actually, I feel like going back 
into a shell and stay there. Is this what life for  me is all about? To be reminded daily
of the wrong choices and decisions. All these wrong choices came very easily, even 
people who messed up life for me came into my life freely. Did I invite them? 

How come, good things do not just come into my life? No matter how hard I try, it 
seems like all I get are crumbs from the table, never allowed to sit, join and enjoy the 
feast as a participant. 

But- so be it. 
I face this world with resignation. What will be will be. I pray hard,I try hard,I try to 
remain positive, but,somehow, I just can’t get it together. 

No, not a POOR ME syndrome, just a sad state of affairs. Deep down, nothing matters 
anymore. I can not even dream..what is there to dream of?
 
Tomorrow is another day- and so? The same old routine,same old life, same problems, 
just my bad luck more problems. Stay positive? Have I not been trying? Higher self?

What is that? I have to accept my reality-am I a loser? Whatever good I have done, they 
somehow mean nothing, weigh nothing, get me no stars, just condemnation.
So be it.

INDEX
 ARTICLE ARCHIVE